Are You Righteous in your Rightness?

Jen Lang: 00:00:08

This is no halos here hosted by Jen Lang and Jane

Jen Lang: 00:00:11

Stark, the place to inspire a change in your consciousness to

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elevate the world. We're to heart centered business owners

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nourishing our inner rebels while growing our respective

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businesses.

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No halos here is the result of bringing together an

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opera singer turn spiritual mentor and a marketing

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professional turned well being coached to meditate daily.

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Together we unite physical, mental, emotional and spiritual

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energies into a powerful presence to lead, heal and

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inspire. We love exploring the shadowed edges of life, the

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universe and beyond through honest and thought provoking

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conversations. Let's dive in.

Jen Lang: 00:00:48

Hi, everybody, and welcome back to another episode

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of no halos here with Jen Lang and Jane Stark. Hello. So

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excited to be podcasting together again and Jane

Jen Lang: 00:00:59

recovering from an illness.

Jane Stark: 00:01:01

It's been a long couple of weeks. Yeah. Okay.

Jane Stark: 00:01:04

Somebody actually this morning, I had a meeting. So he was like,

Jane Stark: 00:01:06

Happy New Year. I'm like, Yeah, feels like this is like, Finally

Jane Stark: 00:01:10

happy new year because her and I both went down with the illness

Jane Stark: 00:01:13

right before New Year's. Wow. Like so weird. I don't know what

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day it is with what the date is. But I feel like it's like mid

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end of January, right? Yeah,

Jen Lang: 00:01:22

it's the 20th. Today.

Jane Stark: 00:01:25

Yeah. Okay. New Year's sort of starting? Yes.

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But yeah, let's jump into what we're going to talk about today.

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Because it's a good topic.

Jen Lang: 00:01:33

It's been it's a rich topic. And we are, oh, gosh,

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we're so motivated to talk about it actually started with a love

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letter that we sent to our community. Earlier this week,

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where we were talking about, I was reading about actually

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holding the polarity between two positions. And there has been

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plenty going on in our lives that has been asking us or

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sometimes forcing us to make decisions, one or the other one

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or the other one or the other. And it's not always at, it's

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easy to get sucked into, you're in, you're out black and white.

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You know, I'm just gonna call it backs or non backs. But there is

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more to the conversation. And what Jane and I want to talk

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about today is when you're presented with a decision that

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is based in two polarities, have you given yourself the

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opportunity to explore the myriad of nuance between those

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two polarities? And then can you rise above it to rather than

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being sucked into one side or the other? Can you rise above

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and see all areas and the all the in betweens of that

Jen Lang: 00:02:46

position? Mm hmm. Not an

Jane Stark: 00:02:50

easy? No, it's not. And especially in times, like

Jane Stark: 00:02:55

right now, where we are living in complete duality and

Jane Stark: 00:02:58

polarity. Yeah. Yeah, being the importance of being able to it

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doesn't mean you have to agree. Yes, with all different sides,

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but being able to kind of move on. So the term that I always

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use that I was taught as a resonance field. Yeah. Can you

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explain what that is? Yeah, just trying to think of how to unpack

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what a resonance field is. I mean, a resonance field is

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something where, you know, there's a trigger or topic a

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subject that comes up and we have a reaction to it. So

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typically, a resonance is like you have an emotional reaction,

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you have some sort of often physiological reaction to

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something. But when you can actually move, so if you picture

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like an oval, and on each end of that oval, might be black and

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white, you know, two opposite ends of the spectrum? And can

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you move along that oval to the different sides, or to the

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middle, or to just like being being able to move or you're not

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so stuck in one end of the spectrum, and often because

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oftentimes, when we're stuck, and we cannot see the other

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side, or we are we're so emotionally triggered by it,

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it's actually a sign that that's where we need to do some

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healing. And again, the healing is not because you need to get

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to the other side, because it doesn't, it doesn't actually

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matter whether you're on the left or the right. It's the fact

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that you're stuck there. And so, you know, I think that's a big

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it's a big piece of what we're seeing right now, where people

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are stuck. Yeah. And it's showing our stuff. It's showing

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ancestral healing that needs to happen. You know, our own our

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own emotional healing and where that needs to happen, and it's

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been very interesting. I've like I've personally had these

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experiences in my training when I was going through my quantum

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healing training in the summer, where you You know, we had to

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find some of these topics and subjects where we felt, you

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know, really stuck, and then go in and do some of that healing

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and that emotional release. And it's really fascinating

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actually, when you can start to feel yourself sought after.

Jen Lang: 00:05:12

And there's so many different ways to do it. So you

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don't just have to do it in a quantum healing way. It could be

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through a different spiritual process. You know, like, last

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year, I read A Course in Miracles with a small group. And

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that really helps to soften the hard edges of a polarity of any

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situation where you might you know, where you meet someone and

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and you can send them love instead of being triggered by

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their behavior. Another example, easy example that I kind of

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wanted to bring forward would be so for example, when I was a

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kid, I hated mushrooms. And if we put it into like a food

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context, I hated them. I found them repulsive, I had a strong

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emotional reaction. Well, I just didn't have mushrooms in it. And

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even as a young adult, I still had that reaction. And then I

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started being able to, you know, presented with different types

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of mushrooms, I'd be like, Oh, this is okay. You know, and I'm

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like, okay, so then I used to joke I was like, I only like

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expensive mushrooms. So I would get like a mushroom sauce on

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mistake and it would be made with you know, big forest

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morels. And I was like, Well, that's pretty tasty. It's not so

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bad. And then I've graduated now to a wild mushroom blend, I can

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have wild mushrooms. And that's, that's pretty okay. Still not

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here. Not a huge fan of the grocery store variety, white

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mushroom, standard white money's mushrooms. But I have been able

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to diffuse my strong emotional reaction to disliking or hating

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mushrooms. And so this is this like a very simple accessible

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example.

Jane Stark: 00:06:42

No, that's a good example. Like, even when we were

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doing our training on this actually like the diet, the diet

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industry is a great example of this right? Where you see like,

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milk is good for you. Oh, no, milk is bad for you. And cheese

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is good for you. Nope, cheese isn't good for you. You know,

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it's all about the margarine. Oh, margarine is the devil.

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Like, you gotta eat butter. Right? And so we see these and

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it flip flops. And, and so you know, what if we could get to

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this place where it's like? Gluten, let's use gluten as

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example. Yeah. Right. So it's like, maybe, maybe glutens. Bad

Jane Stark: 00:07:22

for you? Maybe glutens. Okay for you. How about some people can't

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tolerate gluten, and some people can. And so we can move along

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that. So it's not this. It's not this absolute gluten is the

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devil. Right? Which is where, you know, we can often see

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people and you know, and fair enough. Like there's two people

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that can't tolerate gluten that are like glutens, the devil and

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nobody should eat gluten. But then there is there is another

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camp, right? And we're all and in that example, it just kind of

Jane Stark: 00:07:53

shows to how we're all bio individual. Yeah. And so there

Jane Stark: 00:07:57

is that need to be able to move along a spectrum?

Jen Lang: 00:08:01

Ooh, so if we use this food and say diet industry

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example. So for our listeners, if you find yourself reflecting

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on some of your own positions on food and diet or exercise, how

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can you apply your willingness to be curious about different

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aspects of food industry? And what works for you? And what

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doesn't? How can you apply that same technique or pattern to

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other areas where you have a strong position or a strong

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emotional reaction? And just go, Well, if this was butter, and

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the other was margarine, you know, and it helps to diffuse,

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you know, it becomes almost comical and light and creative

Jen Lang: 00:08:42

way to look at, I don't know, like, if you like, Donald Trump

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is margarine. And Hillary Clinton was butter. So then you

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can look through, I guess we have the lens in the past. But

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if we look at those two examples, who are triggering

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individuals, for a lot of people, then you can go Okay, so

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what's the, you know? What, how can I soften and change my

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perspective, and to see more of the story and more of what's

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possible? It doesn't mean you're in one camp or another, it just

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means that you're willing to look at maybe there is some

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accuracy in what this person said versus you know, what is

Jen Lang: 00:09:23

the other person trying to hide?

Jane Stark: 00:09:24

And maybe it's their truth. You mentioned something

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in the in our love letter about people becoming righteous in

Jane Stark: 00:09:30

their rightness. Yeah. Which I really liked. And I think that

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is a big part of what we're seeing right now. Right is yes,

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we all have values, and everybody's core values are

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different. And this isn't about shifting our values per se, but

Jane Stark: 00:09:44

it's about like, I feel like when we can start to move along

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this resonance field or this spectrum, then we open up space

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for this kindness and compassion for others as human beings

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whereas when we're so stuck in our like, you say like our

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righteousness about our rightness for whatever it is we

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believe. And there is an endless number of topics out there in

Jane Stark: 00:10:06

the world right now that we all of a sudden, like, that's what's

Jane Stark: 00:10:10

breaking my heart is seeing how, how uncompassionate we can be

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towards others because they don't have the same beliefs as

Jane Stark: 00:10:18

us or, you know, the divide that it's creating. And again, this

Jane Stark: 00:10:22

is not, is to be very careful, this is not about making one

Jane Stark: 00:10:27

side right or wrong. But being able, being able to, to have the

Jane Stark: 00:10:34

level of awareness to see that you know what one person's

Jane Stark: 00:10:38

reality is. And truth is, might not be yours. And

Jen Lang: 00:10:43

exactly, I think that ties down to the Boyett bio

Jen Lang: 00:10:46

individuality around the food example, just as you are have

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bio individuality around what you what your body tolerates

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enjoys, doesn't tolerate there is that that same pattern is

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reflected in our soul selves. So your soul self always benefits

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from a broader perspective, because it actually links us

Jen Lang: 00:11:11

more closely together, why don't we find those commonalities more

Jen Lang: 00:11:14

easily than those differences? What brings us together, that's

Jen Lang: 00:11:17

what will move us forward. Yeah, so as you reflect on this year

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ahead, because of course, we're early in 2022, as you reflect on

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this year ahead, and I purposely use that word reflect, because

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it's whatever you want it to be. And start to imagine what it can

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be like, when you open your perspective to a wider variety

Jen Lang: 00:11:44

of inputs, rather than being so married to a particular

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position.

Jane Stark: 00:11:50

And one way to start doing that might be to notice,

Jane Stark: 00:11:54

if you have a really hard time understanding or even

Jane Stark: 00:11:59

entertaining another, another point of view and asking, like,

Jane Stark: 00:12:03

why is that? What am I? Yeah, why am I so strongly against the

Jane Stark: 00:12:10

thing? And again, there's no judgement, the answer is not

Jane Stark: 00:12:15

right or wrong. And it's not about changing your actions.

Jane Stark: 00:12:19

It's just about that higher level of awareness and

Jane Stark: 00:12:22

understanding of self and of society.

Jen Lang: 00:12:25

Yeah, I'd like you said earlier just brings that

Jen Lang: 00:12:27

space, it opens up more space for compassion for others, and

Jen Lang: 00:12:31

also compassion for yourself. Because through that method of

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inquiry, and through being curious about your feelings

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around, you know, why do I feel this way, and noticing those

Jen Lang: 00:12:42

feelings, instead of judging yourself for having that

Jen Lang: 00:12:45

feeling, it's more about noticing, go ha have that

Jen Lang: 00:12:49

feeling. It's linked. I recall, it's linked to this particular

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incident. Or remember, I didn't like that incident, or I had and

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then it follow the basically follow the breadcrumbs of that

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memory and that strong emotional reaction. And then either, you

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know, clear it for yourself, or get the support of people who

Jen Lang: 00:13:11

can help you clear it, or can help you move through it. And

Jen Lang: 00:13:14

the faster you move through these things, I feel like the

Jen Lang: 00:13:18

more I'm used the word organically, but the more

Jen Lang: 00:13:22

aligned is probably a better, the more aligned you will feel.

Jane Stark: 00:13:26

Yeah, I was we were chatting yesterday, sort of

Jane Stark: 00:13:30

along the same lines, but this word integrity, yes, it's been

Jane Stark: 00:13:33

really big for me this year. And what we're seeing, again, if we

Jane Stark: 00:13:37

look at, you know, the collective and then our

Jane Stark: 00:13:40

individual, that micro, and I think this is another way, it's

Jane Stark: 00:13:44

like this year, somebody said to me the other day, this year is

Jane Stark: 00:13:46

all about cleaning up our integrity, AND, and OR all about

Jane Stark: 00:13:51

stepping more into our integrity, I should say, and

Jane Stark: 00:13:53

cleaning up the things that have us out of integrity. And so that

Jane Stark: 00:13:58

can look like anything, right? It can look like Oh, I haven't

Jane Stark: 00:14:01

been paying attention to my bills and my finances. So that's

Jane Stark: 00:14:05

out of integrity, which is going to play out in various ways in

Jane Stark: 00:14:08

your life. So let's start looking at that and getting the

Jane Stark: 00:14:11

bills paid. Health for me. My health, this illness that I've

Jane Stark: 00:14:16

had, there was something you know, I think I've done some of

Jane Stark: 00:14:20

my own sort of reflection and soul searching on what it not

Jane Stark: 00:14:25

what it means I don't want to make it like Oh, an illness

Jane Stark: 00:14:28

means something all the time, but my health is out of

Jane Stark: 00:14:29

integrity. That's your body's way of saying okay, there's

Jane Stark: 00:14:32

something that my body needs. And again, that's not to say

Jane Stark: 00:14:36

that we should never get sick. I think that's that's part of

Jane Stark: 00:14:40

human nature. But you know, looking going, Okay, it's time

Jane Stark: 00:14:43

for me to now nurture my body even more. Yeah.

Jen Lang: 00:14:48

And your well being it's not just your body. Yeah, I

Jen Lang: 00:14:51

think it's all of those aspects of self where if you haven't if

Jen Lang: 00:14:55

you're stuck in a thought pattern, or a loop for like a

Jen Lang: 00:14:59

thought pattern loop That isn't serving you and you're

Jen Lang: 00:15:01

perseverating on it, then that's something for you to look at

Jen Lang: 00:15:05

notice, like, Oh, hey, I'm stuck in this loop. And, well, that's

Jane Stark: 00:15:09

so that's a part of what I worked through, right? I,

Jane Stark: 00:15:12

I really, without going into too much detail, I in the past have

Jane Stark: 00:15:18

sometimes had trouble trusting my body to heal, and tend to,

Jane Stark: 00:15:22

like, I get anxiety around being sick, and oh my gosh, I'm going

Jane Stark: 00:15:25

to end up not so much like hypochondria, like stuff. But

Jane Stark: 00:15:29

just like, I've ended, I've had experiences where I'm like, oh,

Jane Stark: 00:15:32

and I got this complication, or this has come up. And this time

Jane Stark: 00:15:35

through this illness, I really like, that was a big piece for

Jane Stark: 00:15:39

me, where I'm like, this is an opportunity to change my

Jane Stark: 00:15:41

relationship with myself and to really uproot this belief of

Jane Stark: 00:15:46

like, my body can't heal properly, or it's like,

Jane Stark: 00:15:48

something's going to happen. And so, you know, I've spent a lot

Jane Stark: 00:15:51

of time just sinking into this. And, you know, I trust my body,

Jane Stark: 00:15:55

my body knows exactly what it needs. I have supports, I ended

Jane Stark: 00:15:59

up, you know, on antibiotics, thank goodness for the Western

Jane Stark: 00:16:02

medical system that was able to support me, and you know,

Jane Stark: 00:16:07

getting that and being like, perfect. So now here's this is

Jane Stark: 00:16:09

what my body part of what my body needed to give me that

Jane Stark: 00:16:11

lift, and my body knows what to do. That's been a big focus of

Jane Stark: 00:16:17

mine for the last couple of weeks. And that feels in

Jane Stark: 00:16:20

integrity for me. Yeah. And I think this, this idea of the

Jane Stark: 00:16:23

integrity piece, we're seeing it on the collective level too, as

Jane Stark: 00:16:28

we're seeing cracks in our foundations, right? We're seeing

Jane Stark: 00:16:33

these various different structures, definitely be pushed

Jane Stark: 00:16:38

to limits that we've never seen before.

Jen Lang: 00:16:40

What is also all the big structures that we've

Jen Lang: 00:16:43

established that have brought us to where we are that really have

Jen Lang: 00:16:46

no way I'm gonna say way, but have though they have no,

Jen Lang: 00:16:52

they're not the same structures that will bring us forward. And

Jen Lang: 00:16:55

so they need to collapse. And they this cracks are showing

Jen Lang: 00:16:59

we're seeing this in healthcare. We're seeing this in education.

Jen Lang: 00:17:01

We're seeing this in our political system. In fact, I

Jen Lang: 00:17:03

wouldn't call the financial systems I've actually argued

Jen Lang: 00:17:06

that in the political system, we've been seeing it develop

Jen Lang: 00:17:08

over the past 2025 years, where you're having these elections

Jen Lang: 00:17:13

that are close to call, so close to call, or you're having this

Jen Lang: 00:17:16

pendulum swing, and voter apathy, and especially in the

Jen Lang: 00:17:20

democratic system. And so and then the healthcare system,

Jen Lang: 00:17:24

it's, you know, obviously, the past two years have been really,

Jen Lang: 00:17:28

very such a huge burden on people who working in health

Jen Lang: 00:17:31

care and medical care, and particularly nurses and doctors,

Jen Lang: 00:17:35

who aren't necessarily getting all the information that they

Jen Lang: 00:17:38

require, nor are they getting the support. Yeah, yeah. So

Jen Lang: 00:17:43

we're seeing this now where people are reaching that

Jen Lang: 00:17:47

breaking point, I think there was a news article the other day

Jen Lang: 00:17:48

about a nurse who quit her job to become a long haul trucker?

Jen Lang: 00:17:51

Like No way. Yeah, in New Brunswick. And so it's really

Jen Lang: 00:17:57

interesting how people who have been in an industry that they

Jen Lang: 00:18:01

infrastructure that they genuinely care about, and are

Jen Lang: 00:18:04

reaching a point where they're like, this does no, this no

Jen Lang: 00:18:07

longer serves me, nor does it serve humanity, we need a new

Jen Lang: 00:18:10

way of moving forward. We're seeing that in our provinces

Jen Lang: 00:18:13

mental health care structures, which are piecemeal, myriad, and

Jen Lang: 00:18:19

even I think you've experienced, like long waits to see the

Jen Lang: 00:18:23

psychologist for an assessment and those those kinds of pieces

Jen Lang: 00:18:27

that people who are really struggling in mental health

Jen Lang: 00:18:30

can't get the access hadn't get the access, or it's so many,

Jen Lang: 00:18:33

like hoops and papers. And did you call this person and please,

Jane Stark: 00:18:37

absolutely, I mean, don't get me started on it. But

Jane Stark: 00:18:40

I've had, you know, what I've been? Yeah, navigating in the

Jane Stark: 00:18:43

past couple of months is really been I, what's not even past

Jane Stark: 00:18:47

couple months, it's actually the past couple of years, it's been

Jane Stark: 00:18:49

very eye opening. In terms of also the disparity. It Yeah,

Jane Stark: 00:18:55

it's it, you know, we hear all of this stuff. And when it

Jane Stark: 00:19:00

starts to like, when you start to truly experience it, you

Jane Stark: 00:19:03

know, it's hard, right? We hear this stuff, we hear this stuff,

Jane Stark: 00:19:05

and sometimes until it hits close to home, you're like,

Jane Stark: 00:19:07

Whoa, but you know, it's, I'm in I'm in a very fortunate

Jane Stark: 00:19:12

privileged position where I have resources. And I have the

Jane Stark: 00:19:15

ability to keep pushing, keep pushing, but you know, what I've

Jane Stark: 00:19:19

witnessed and experienced, I can see how somebody who just

Jane Stark: 00:19:24

doesn't have that those resources would have a really

Jane Stark: 00:19:27

hard time getting the help they need because yeah, we're having

Jane Stark: 00:19:30

a hard time getting the help we need and we have the resources.

Jane Stark: 00:19:34

Fascinating. Like, so. Yeah, back to you know, there is these

Jane Stark: 00:19:38

cracks in the foundation. And I think, you know, one of the

Jane Stark: 00:19:42

things I think we need to start facing those, you need to stop

Jane Stark: 00:19:48

turning a blind eye and we need to stop numbing ourselves and

Jane Stark: 00:19:52

going mutts to like, I know it's a lot. It's

Jen Lang: 00:19:54

all too much. I don't want to look I don't look well,

Jen Lang: 00:19:57

it's going to become more and louder until you look at deal

Jen Lang: 00:20:00

with what's right in front of like,

Jane Stark: 00:20:01

what's Yeah, yeah, we need to look at the fact that

Jane Stark: 00:20:04

nurses are burning out, you know, like teachers are better

Jane Stark: 00:20:07

you don't you know, somebody who just recently had to go on leave

Jane Stark: 00:20:10

like Doctor mandated her leave

Jen Lang: 00:20:12

her GP. Yeah. And then she called her manager and her

Jen Lang: 00:20:15

manager hung up in frustration. And so me, that's another level

Jen Lang: 00:20:19

of frustration that, you know, managers can't get the staff

Jen Lang: 00:20:23

they need staff. I'm this is threads throughout all of our

Jen Lang: 00:20:28

current structures. So, I mean, we're going to continue this

Jen Lang: 00:20:32

conversation, I think this is going to come up in more

Jen Lang: 00:20:36

episodes. But what are a couple of take quick takeaways that our

Jen Lang: 00:20:40

listeners can? You know, bring forward for them?

Jane Stark: 00:20:44

Where do we go? Well, I mean, I think one of the

Jane Stark: 00:20:47

things with all of this, you know, when it can get very

Jane Stark: 00:20:50

overwhelming when we're looking at the bigger picture, the, you

Jane Stark: 00:20:53

know, the collective societal type stuff, but it always starts

Jane Stark: 00:20:57

at home, right? It always starts with ourselves. So again, you

Jane Stark: 00:21:01

know, looking at coming back to the this idea of integrity and

Jane Stark: 00:21:05

looking at your own life, and what's out of integrity for you,

Jane Stark: 00:21:09

in your own life, what needs to be cleaned up and start there,

Jane Stark: 00:21:12

start with the like, it really is the small stuff,

Jen Lang: 00:21:14

totally small stuff. What's and what's easy. Start

Jen Lang: 00:21:18

with the smallest, tiniest step you can. And maybe it's like,

Jen Lang: 00:21:23

I'm gonna bring up the meditation thing again, just

Jen Lang: 00:21:25

listen to a five minute meditation before you fall

Jen Lang: 00:21:27

asleep. Or maybe it's you buy,

Jane Stark: 00:21:32

like purging

Jen Lang: 00:21:32

cameras and getting rid of stale

Jane Stark: 00:21:34

old that you don't need. Yeah. Talking about

Jane Stark: 00:21:39

checking in, like what we talked about in the beginning, right,

Jane Stark: 00:21:42

starting to just ask, getting curious about your, your

Jane Stark: 00:21:46

thoughts, your beliefs, your standpoints on things, when you

Jane Stark: 00:21:49

feel really stuck on one end of the spectrum, get curious and

Jane Stark: 00:21:53

ask why and see if you can just loosen some of that up. But

Jane Stark: 00:21:56

yeah, I mean, I think it really does just start small, it starts

Jane Stark: 00:22:01

with ourselves in our homes. And slowly, if we're all kind of

Jane Stark: 00:22:06

working towards that same thing, we'll get there.

Jen Lang: 00:22:09

We'll get there. And I'm just going to add, we

Jen Lang: 00:22:12

believe in you. This is like let's just end this on a really

Jen Lang: 00:22:16

like beautiful, expansive note you have, you have what it takes

Jen Lang: 00:22:21

inside to move through this. And it's that process of self

Jen Lang: 00:22:27

inquiry, self compassion, noticing, and the supports are

Jen Lang: 00:22:32

out there. We're here we'd love to hear from you. How do you

Jen Lang: 00:22:35

reach out to support reach out to you, you know, even if join

Jen Lang: 00:22:39

our community calls and definitely,

Jane Stark: 00:22:41

like we're gonna unpack this even more, we do a

Jane Stark: 00:22:43

community call once a month where we Jen and I show up on

Jane Stark: 00:22:46

Zoom for an hour. You can find out information as to how to get

Jane Stark: 00:22:50

the links for those by going to the link in our bio and in our

Jane Stark: 00:22:53

show notes.

Jen Lang: 00:22:54

Joining are joining our love letters list. And that

Jen Lang: 00:22:57

is a place to start with support. All right on that happy

Jen Lang: 00:23:00

note. We love you. Have an amazing day. And we will speak

Jen Lang: 00:23:05

to you soon. Bye. Thanks for joining us for these conscious

Jen Lang: 00:23:10

combos. If you're ready to dive deeper head on over to we are

Jen Lang: 00:23:14

Jen and jane.com to continue the conversation.

Jane Stark: 00:23:16

If you'd love this episode, please take a moment to

Jane Stark: 00:23:19

share it with your friends or your network and leave us a

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review by going to Apple podcasts. Find us on Instagram

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Jane Stark: 00:23:27

you would like to see more of. We'd love to hear from you.