Episode 61

full
Published on:

31st May 2022

Self-Acceptance and the Eff-It Forties

Do you ever get stuck in a loop around how you feel and how you look? Listen in as Jen + Jane unpack what Self-Acceptance is for them right now, the journeys they have each experienced with (and without) self-acceptance, and how they are asking themselves the challenging questions that lead to more complete self-acceptance and increased self-confidence. Enjoy this conversation where they sink into the F^@k-it Forties and all the gifts and challenges it provides.

 

Questions for further guidance:

●     What would it take for you to accept yourself, fully, as all you are, right here, and right now?

●     How can you get curious about what has caused you to question yourself - whether it’s how your body is changing or how others are responding to you.

Disclaimer:

On the No Halos Here Podcast, we explore a wide range of topics broadly categorized as well-being. We encourage you to do your own research and make informed choices about your health and wellbeing. The information we provide is never a substitute for qualified advice specific to your individual needs. In listening, you take full responsibility for implementing any suggestions shared on the podcast and you agree to indemnify us completely against all consequences arising directly or indirectly from your choices.

About Jen and Jane

Jen Lang

Jen believes in the power and wisdom of women’s voices. She’s a guide for women who want to tune into and align their inner voice so their outer voice can shine; uniting physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energies into a powerful voice ready to share your message.

Jane Stark

Passionate about energetic alignment and living life from a place of personal power, Jane is a heart-centered leader, certified health and life coach, and marketing strategist.  She leads others to play bigger and feel lighter by helping them see and navigate their blocks and connect more deeply with themselves.

Continue the conversation:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/wearejenandjane 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/No-Halos-Here-Podcast

Community: Keep up on all things Jen & Jane: http://eepurl.com/hk31JX 

Download the Empowerment Playbook: https://www.wearejenandjane.com/playbook 


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Transcript
Jen Lang:

This is no halos here hosted by Jen Lang and Jane

Jen Lang:

Stark, the place to inspire a change in your consciousness to

Jen Lang:

elevate the world. We're to heart centered business owners

Jen Lang:

nourishing our inner rebels while growing our respective

Jen Lang:

businesses.

Jane Stark:

No halos here is the result of bringing together an

Jane Stark:

opera singer turned spiritual mentor and a marketing

Jane Stark:

professional turned while being coached to meditate daily.

Jane Stark:

Together, we unite physical, mental, emotional and spiritual

Jane Stark:

energies into a powerful presence to lead, heal and

Jane Stark:

inspire. We love exploring the shadowed edges of life, the

Jane Stark:

universe and beyond through honest and thought provoking

Jane Stark:

conversations. Let's dive in.

Jen Lang:

Hi, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of no

Jen Lang:

halos here with Jen Lang and Jane Stark. Happy It's Wednesday

Jen Lang:

when we're recording this, but it'll be Tuesday when you're

Jen Lang:

hearing it. So happy whatever day of the week. You weren't

Jen Lang:

hearing us.

Jane Stark:

Happy Monday through Sunday? Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. All

Jane Stark:

right.

Jen Lang:

We're jumping in today with self acceptance. And I

Jen Lang:

think this came out of a i This is actually our community call

Jen Lang:

topic for tomorrow's about the time this airs that community

Jen Lang:

call will have happened already. However, I think we'll probably

Jen Lang:

end up having another version of it. I feel like this is a big

Jen Lang:

topic to unpack topic. And I do want to go into like, how, why

Jen Lang:

don't you share how we came to this topic?

Jane Stark:

I'm actually trying to recall how we came to this

Jane Stark:

topic. I don't remember. I know it was some conversations a

Jane Stark:

couple of weeks ago that we were having, as most of our topics

Jane Stark:

come out of. And I know for me, there was some stuff around

Jane Stark:

weight and weight gain. And to get into that a little bit. But

Jane Stark:

is that how we came up with it? Like you and I to sit and talk

Jane Stark:

about that necessarily?

Jen Lang:

I think it was. I think it sort of there's a

Jen Lang:

couple of things that unfolded for me, I think we're lately

Jen Lang:

I've been so one of the words I picked for this year was

Jen Lang:

pleasure. And both pleasure in like the foods I eat pleasure

Jen Lang:

and the experiences I have, where can I recognize pleasure

Jen Lang:

in my life a bit more. And also make conscious decisions to

Jen Lang:

invite pleasure pleasurable experiences in my life. And I

Jen Lang:

found myself in this headspace of not being entirely satisfied

Jen Lang:

with where my body was looking and feeling. So my clothing was

Jen Lang:

fitting a bit tighter, that didn't feel pleasurable. But the

Jen Lang:

food and lifestyle activities that I was engaged in, were

Jen Lang:

pleasurable. So where do I find this level of self acceptance

Jen Lang:

around? This is where I'm at in my body is changing and

Jen Lang:

shifting, wildly, honor, pleasure in some way. And it's

Jen Lang:

not just tight. How do you do that? How do you do that? Well,

Jen Lang:

stay tuned, because we're still unpacking this, to be perfectly

Jen Lang:

honest. That's kind of why we're having this conversation. But I

Jen Lang:

also feel like, you know, I did some yoga. I was doing yoga

Jen Lang:

fairly regularly in the new year, up until mid February. And

Jen Lang:

then I just stopped and I was like, Man, I want to break. I

Jen Lang:

just don't feel like doing it. And I walked the dogs I work,

Jen Lang:

you know, I is I walk 10,000 steps a day, on average, like I

Jen Lang:

have no problem with walking and movement. I took a conscious

Jen Lang:

pause from karate in September, October. But when I put my GI on

Jen Lang:

a few weeks ago to help with a grading, I noticed that my GI

Jen Lang:

was fitting differently. And so I was like, Oh, this is

Jen Lang:

interesting. My body's shifted and changed. But so there was

Jen Lang:

this level of like, I'm just gonna say it. I felt fatter, but

Jen Lang:

happier.

Jane Stark:

Yes, I remember you saying

Jen Lang:

that. And I was like, and I'm not. No, I'm not saying

Jen Lang:

these are mutually exclusive. This is my personal experience.

Jen Lang:

And I certainly don't want to make a rightness or wrongness

Jen Lang:

out of either of those situations or words because I

Jen Lang:

think they can be really triggering for people. And

Jen Lang:

because I have decided to prioritize pleasure this year as

Jen Lang:

one of these words. A, an accompanying result of that is

Jen Lang:

that I have gained a bit of weight. And I'm not talking a

Jen Lang:

huge amount, but just enough for me to notice that my clothing is

Jen Lang:

fitting differently. So where can I find this balance of self

Jen Lang:

acceptance around the way that I feel? And the pleasure I'm

Jen Lang:

enjoying and still, like let go of the social conditioning

Jen Lang:

around Body appearances and yeah, yeah, it took me back to

Jen Lang:

some awkward teenage years. Definitely. Some forgiveness

Jen Lang:

around that.

Jane Stark:

Yeah, yeah. Which is I mean, that's the, the social,

Jane Stark:

the social conditioning piece is this so big, right? And so,

Jane Stark:

like, I mean, I'm, I'm gonna, I don't know, same but different

Jane Stark:

scenario where I've died to have gained weight, call it the

Jane Stark:

COVID-19 call it whatever we want, it's probably more likely

Jane Stark:

that I'm now in my 40s. And my body is shifting and changing.

Jane Stark:

And, yeah, it's been an interesting journey where it's

Jane Stark:

similar to you I've sort of, I've been really trying to be in

Jane Stark:

a place of self acceptance, and noticing. I guess, noticing

Jane Stark:

where the judgment comes up, like the little the judgment in

Jane Stark:

my mind the judgment of self, though, like, the resisting what

Jane Stark:

is. So for me, I think one of the conversations we had

Jane Stark:

recently was I finally, for a while I was holding on to the

Jane Stark:

like, Kay clothes aren't fitting quite the way I like them. Okay,

Jane Stark:

clothes, like some clothes just aren't fitting anymore. But sort

Jane Stark:

of that like, Okay, well hang on to them, because I'll lose the

Jane Stark:

weight. Or, you know, and, and then finally, I was like, why am

Jane Stark:

I? Why am I resisting this? Why am I walking around wearing

Jane Stark:

clothes that don't make me feel good. Maybe I just need to

Jane Stark:

actually just go out and buy myself some clothes that make me

Jane Stark:

feel good. And that fit me comfortably. And it made me you

Jane Stark:

know, it was something we that we talked about? And it's like,

Jane Stark:

how many of us do that? How many of us resist going and buying

Jane Stark:

the clothes? That make us feel good? Because then we have to

Jane Stark:

actually acknowledge that we've gained the weight. Or then we

Jane Stark:

have to acknowledge our

Jen Lang:

bodies have changed. Yeah, that I've gained or lost

Jen Lang:

weight. Yeah. Yeah, whatever he not.

Jane Stark:

Exactly. And that is even the thing for me, it feels

Jane Stark:

like my whole body has shifted. Like, it's not just that I've

Jane Stark:

put on a couple pounds around my belly or whatever. It's like, my

Jane Stark:

jackets fit smaller and my like, everything.

Jen Lang:

My redistribution. I think that's kind of how I'm

Jen Lang:

feeling bathers has been redistribution of, of mass

Jen Lang:

around my body. And I like Believe me, I'm not sitting here

Jen Lang:

like, agonizing over Oh, no. And five. Yeah, no, this is

Jen Lang:

definitely about that those, this is definitely not one of

Jen Lang:

those spaces. And,

Jane Stark:

but it is hard to love our bodies when they

Jane Stark:

change. Yeah, it's hard. Like, and even as somebody you know,

Jane Stark:

that I am not somebody who has struggled with my weight all my

Jane Stark:

life, I recognize that I'm, you know, I'm in that position. And

Jane Stark:

it's hard. Like I've, I've definitely struggled with it,

Jane Stark:

it's interesting how even just made me kind of look at and

Jane Stark:

observe how all of these different aspects the outer,

Jane Stark:

like how we show up in the outer world, or how we look to the

Jane Stark:

outer world, it makes up our identity so much. I remember

Jane Stark:

going through this, this again, might seem a bit trite, but go

Jane Stark:

with me here like, couple years ago, I died and chopped my hair.

Jane Stark:

Like and I all my life, I was pretty much a blonde of some

Jane Stark:

form or another I was born when I was a kid. And then I you

Jane Stark:

know, as a teenager, I started the highlights and, and just

Jane Stark:

kind of kept the blonde going. And so I always kind of

Jane Stark:

identified as some form of blonde. And then long story

Jane Stark:

short, I had an experience a couple years ago, I had an

Jane Stark:

opportunity to get my hair done and a makeover and kind of went

Jane Stark:

in like sure, do whatever you want. And I came out with like

Jane Stark:

the shortest haircut I've ever had. And basically, I was

Jane Stark:

Auburn. And yeah, that was a shock to the system. Like, why

Jane Stark:

are you telling me? Yeah, this was right before we met, I

Jen Lang:

guess I really struggled with a bit of like, my

Jen Lang:

identity like, whoa, who am I like, and I mean, it's just

Jen Lang:

hair. But it was a real like, wow, it is hair. Because that's

Jen Lang:

an identifying feature, right, your other appearance. And so

Jen Lang:

I'm gonna be telling you that about the surrender piece where

Jen Lang:

you surrender to the experience. And you do like in the universe

Jen Lang:

delivered more than

Jane Stark:

that morning in my journal. I was like, I'm open to

Jane Stark:

possibilities. There's I can't remember exactly what I wrote.

Jane Stark:

But it was like, I'm open to whatever opportunities come my

Jane Stark:

way and possibilities and data and little did I know that I was

Jane Stark:

going into like, come out kind of looking like a different

Jane Stark:

person. And yeah, it was an interesting experience like to

Jane Stark:

really to go through. And there's a little bit of a little

Jane Stark:

bit of that sort of even just with the shifts in my body

Jane Stark:

lately where it's like, oh, okay, like, you know, I'm not I

Jane Stark:

don't know, just like you say that but the redistribution

Jane Stark:

everywhere like so what I am comfortable in what I want to

Jane Stark:

wear, how I want to express myself through clothes and

Jane Stark:

everything else shifts and changes and starting to get

Jane Stark:

comfortable with that, but also recognizing like, oh, like, how

Jane Stark:

was that so much of my identity?

Jen Lang:

Right? I'd say it's similar. Like maybe it's like

Jen Lang:

it's an unpacking of identity. And so there's this level of

Jen Lang:

self acceptance that we have that's connected to a particular

Jen Lang:

identity that we wear on our outside. And that is reflected

Jen Lang:

in our inside I think of it similar to the matrix Kirk, and

Jen Lang:

I've just started watching the matrix movies again. Oh, yeah.

Jen Lang:

And when they are in the matrix, they look different than when

Jen Lang:

they're outside because it's this quote unquote, residual

Jen Lang:

self image. Right. And so we have this residual self image

Jen Lang:

inside of us that is linked to how we appear and look and see

Jen Lang:

each other in the mirror, or in our, you know, our reflection.

Jen Lang:

And when that is challenged, or changed, like when we surrender.

Jen Lang:

So I was thinking, actually, when you were when you were

Jen Lang:

telling me about this hair story again, it's like you gave up a

Jen Lang:

form of agency and allowed your identity to be fiddled with by

Jen Lang:

someone else.

Jane Stark:

And then you allowed my image.

Jen Lang:

Yes, yes. Yes. So your image to be, which then caused

Jen Lang:

you a deeper inquiry into your identity? Yeah. So, but I had

Jen Lang:

situations where I've made drastic changes to my hair and

Jen Lang:

my appearance. But I chose those. So I told my hairdresser

Jen Lang:

exactly what I wanted. Yeah. And I'm talking like major, like, I

Jen Lang:

have naturally dark brown hair. And it was like longish. And I

Jen Lang:

was like, make it short. Make it like ProRack bleach blonde crop,

Jen Lang:

right? Like, very, very different. I did this when I was

Jen Lang:

25. Yeah. So

Jane Stark:

yeah, like I've gone from blonde to dark brown, like

Jane Stark:

years and years and years ago. But you know, kept it long as I

Jane Stark:

like. But yeah, the like to allow somebody to just do what

Jane Stark:

they sort of wish. And to go from like, I think that was the

Jane Stark:

other thing, it wasn't just to go from like blonde to Auburn,

Jane Stark:

it was to go from like, longer, like shoulder length, or longer

Jane Stark:

brown up blonde hair too short, Barbara and was like, whoa. And

Jane Stark:

as you were, as you were sort of saying that too. And as I'm

Jane Stark:

reflecting, it's really interesting, this will get back

Jane Stark:

to self acceptance, because I think this is part and parcel in

Jane Stark:

this. But like, I'm even just looking to right like, as I've

Jane Stark:

continued to surrender and go through my own journey and

Jane Stark:

become more in touch with who I am internally, my outward image,

Jane Stark:

like I'm thinking of things and things that are a little bit out

Jane Stark:

of my control. So the hair thing wasn't out of my control, but I

Jane Stark:

kind of surrendered, like you say to the universe, but some of

Jane Stark:

the like body stuff, the way my body's changing, feels a little

Jane Stark:

more out of my control. Without going into Yes, okay, there's,

Jane Stark:

you know, there are factors that we could look at, but I'm a

Jane Stark:

pretty even still with that I eat fairly well and barely

Jane Stark:

clean. Like, you know, same with like you were sharing with the

Jane Stark:

movement, I you know, I get my exercise and whatnot. So, but

Jane Stark:

where I was going with that, so that's shifting, and I'm having

Jane Stark:

to surrender a bit more to that. And then even things like my

Jane Stark:

glasses. So my, I've always, I've always needed glasses, or

Jane Stark:

contacts, but I've always worn contacts, like I've I'm like, I

Jane Stark:

was like a serial contact, where for like, from the age of

Jane Stark:

probably, I don't know, 1415 until about two years ago, all

Jane Stark:

around the same time, all of a sudden, a year and a half ago,

Jane Stark:

all of a sudden, my eyes just changed and like contacts, like,

Jane Stark:

I make me want to scratch my eyes out. And so I've had to go

Jane Stark:

to glasses. And it's not just like glasses here and there,

Jane Stark:

right? Like, I need corrective lenses all the time. I'm, I'm I

Jane Stark:

can't operate without something. So I've had to surrender. But

Jane Stark:

again, I've always identified more as like somebody who

Jane Stark:

doesn't wear eyeglasses, and I've struggled with the late

Jane Stark:

meeting to wear glasses like 24/7 And it's not an I mean,

Jane Stark:

yes, again, this is probably all like hormonal really when we're

Jane Stark:

looking at it, but the surrendering of the identity

Jane Stark:

piece and the surrendering of like, if I look at myself, five

Jane Stark:

years ago, even it's like, you know, blonde 1020 pounds later

Jane Stark:

didn't wear glasses like like, I just sort of going through this

Jane Stark:

Yeah, as we unpack this, I'm like going through this real

Jane Stark:

like feels kind of like metamorphosis of like shedding

Jane Stark:

parts of who I am. And so to roll back to come back to the

Jane Stark:

self acceptance piece. It's definitely been a challenge of

Jane Stark:

like self acceptance, right of accepting. And it's not that

Jane Stark:

like, I mean, I actually like glasses, both on myself and on

Jane Stark:

other people. I don't like that I have to wear them 24/7 I'm

Jane Stark:

struggling with that part, I really would like to be able,

Jane Stark:

again, the control freak in me is like, I want to be able to

Jane Stark:

wear glasses when I want to wear glasses. That's like, that's not

Jane Stark:

a statement. But they can be both, right, but that self

Jane Stark:

acceptance piece, right of like, I am still the person I am

Jane Stark:

whether I'm 20 pounds heavier wearing glasses, and, you know,

Jane Stark:

like, but it's so interesting how that can be really

Jane Stark:

challenging.

Jen Lang:

I do I'm having some similar experience with with my

Jen Lang:

hair. Okay, so as I'm in like galloping through my body, an

Jen Lang:

interesting thing was a really interesting term because I think

Jen Lang:

it gets a relevant topic that, yeah, I think a lot of people

Jen Lang:

don't unpack men and women. And so I've personally discovered

Jen Lang:

that my hair is wavy, quite naturally. So I'm like working

Jen Lang:

with the wave, which I kind of like actually, it's quite

Jen Lang:

feminine. But I'm obviously there's more gray coming in. And

Jen Lang:

so in the last two years, I've had, I've always had some blonde

Jen Lang:

highlights and stuff like that. But in the last two years, I

Jen Lang:

have noticed friends who haven't seen for a while or when we

Jen Lang:

moved back to Canada, who were like, Whoa, love the gray. I'm

Jen Lang:

like, oh, like, it was so gradual for me. And they're like

Jen Lang:

you're rockin the look, it's great. I'm like, oh, okay, sure.

Jen Lang:

And so there's this level of self acceptance that's linked

Jane Stark:

to his social conditioning was red hair again,

Jen Lang:

right, gray hair. And also, this is something else

Jen Lang:

I've noticed. And it's anecdotal. But how I'm noticing

Jen Lang:

how others are viewing me differently. Now that I have

Jen Lang:

more gray hair. Even though I still feel for ya, even though I

Jen Lang:

still feel like I still sound youthful and young. And

Jen Lang:

absolutely, I have I quite I would totally be the first to

Jen Lang:

admit I have a youthful energetic energy to me, way of

Jen Lang:

being in the world. And every once in a while it crossed his

Jen Lang:

mind. I was like, Oh, I wonder if like, I'll comment on

Jen Lang:

something or I'll be talking to film. I was like, Oh, I wonder

Jen Lang:

who they think like, who's the lady with the gray hair? Because

Jen Lang:

of these perceptions that we have about people who are older

Jen Lang:

or have more gray hair? But that's kind of my own lens and

Jen Lang:

my own conditioning on what I think those people think. Yeah,

Jen Lang:

but it did have one experience. It's

Jane Stark:

judgments to that little social conditioning

Jane Stark:

conditioning. Right, these little thoughts of like,

Jen Lang:

Yep, I did have one experience at an electronics

Jen Lang:

store where I was replacing a cable, a charging cable for my

Jen Lang:

phone. And I had bought for Kirk, and I was talking to the

Jen Lang:

attendant in the store. And he was like young guy 2830. Like

Jen Lang:

not young, young. But you know, I'm gonna say he was a

Jen Lang:

supervisor. wasn't like he was 18. And don't know. But no, they

Jen Lang:

were trying to like, Man splain me about the cable.

Unknown:

This lady doesn't know anything about

Jen Lang:

God. I just like, Dude, I thought the internet

Jen Lang:

before you were even born. That was like the dialogue in my

Jen Lang:

head. I was like, Are you heckling me because you see that

Jen Lang:

I have gray hair and you think I haven't actually, quote unquote,

Jen Lang:

use the cable correctly. I'm like, it's an effing cable. It

Jen Lang:

doesn't

Jane Stark:

work. Do you think I was just gonna, like, unpack

Jane Stark:

that quickly? It's interesting. Where is and I know that you and

Jane Stark:

I can do this. So we're going to do it here on the podcast. But

Jane Stark:

like, is that your own? Feelings of the gray hair and projecting

Jane Stark:

that? Oh, it must be the gray hair and he thinks I'm old? Or

Jane Stark:

is he? Or is it the female dynamic where it's more of a

Jane Stark:

transplanting thing? Or a bit of both? Or maybe it's just him and

Jane Stark:

he was not overly? You know what I mean? He thought

Jen Lang:

he was genuinely trying to be helpful. Yeah, all

Jen Lang:

of these are possible. And I can't know the answer. But I

Jen Lang:

just thought it was interesting to me that like it took, you

Jen Lang:

know, he went to the effort of like taking it to a computer and

Jen Lang:

showing it to my phone. And I'm like, I was like, I've done

Jen Lang:

that. And I've done that. And I've done that. And my husband

Jen Lang:

has done that. Can you please just replace the fucking cable?

Jen Lang:

Because it is. I kind of feel like if my husband had gone in

Jen Lang:

with that request, it would have been a 32nd transaction and not

Jen Lang:

a five minute rigmarole. Yeah,

Jane Stark:

that's interesting, right? Yeah. And quite possibly

Jane Stark:

it would have been I mean, that's unfortunately the reality

Jen Lang:

that is we live in and that's the I also feel like

Jen Lang:

that's an unconscious bias piece. Yeah. Where? So then,

Jen Lang:

obviously, that feeds into a question of self acceptance. Can

Jen Lang:

I accept where I am? In this stage of my life and my

Jen Lang:

appearance and my an honor, my knowledge, my wisdom and my

Jen Lang:

expertise? and let go and shed other people's judgments about

Jen Lang:

what that means. Yeah, then I mean, not about not about me.

Jane Stark:

Yes. I mean, and that is the root of self

Jane Stark:

acceptance, right? When we can actually come to a place of

Jane Stark:

accepting ourselves for all like, strengths, weaknesses,

Jane Stark:

what we see as positive and negative. But it is hard in a

Jane Stark:

society like we live in today. And even, you know, even looking

Jane Stark:

like I was, there was a meme, or a meme, I think was a meme.

Jane Stark:

Anyways, I think I mentioned this to you. But a month or two

Jane Stark:

ago, somebody showed this to me. And it was something going

Jane Stark:

around, that showed like women in their 40s and 50s, from like,

Jane Stark:

the 40s, and 50s, versus women in their 40s and 50s. Today, and

Jane Stark:

you can just kind of imagine, like, think back, right?

Jane Stark:

Actually, it wasn't even it might not have even been that

Jane Stark:

long ago, when there might have been like women in their 40s and

Jane Stark:

50s. More in like the 60s to 80s. But like, if you think

Jane Stark:

about it back then, like women's have continued to become how to

Jane Stark:

explain this, like youth has, like women in their 40s and 50s

Jane Stark:

Look Younger still now compared to women in their 40s and

Jane Stark:

50s 20 3040 years ago. And so but it's like, are we, I don't

Jane Stark:

know, like, there's just something I'm like, and I'm so

Jane Stark:

I'm in my 40s now, and I look into all these shifts and

Jane Stark:

changes are happening. And I want to keep you know, I enjoy

Jane Stark:

keeping up with fashion and, you know, various trends and things

Jane Stark:

like that. But at the same time, I also am very conscious of

Jane Stark:

being like Kay, I'm 40 not 25 anymore.

Jen Lang:

Yeah, like, I might shop at Forever 21 and find one

Jen Lang:

or two pieces, but I'm certainly not going to build my wardrobe

Jen Lang:

out of a shop named forever 21.

Jane Stark:

And so, like coming to those acceptance places, I'm

Jane Stark:

not sure where I was going fully with that, but but this coming

Jane Stark:

to this place of the acceptance, I also I guess that's the other

Jane Stark:

thing I was sort of going to is this, you know, the fact that

Jane Stark:

we're both in our 40s and, you know, it's kind of like that

Jane Stark:

Fuckit 40s Yeah, so how much of this self acceptance piece also,

Jane Stark:

for us is playing in like, I am finding it easier now than I

Jane Stark:

even did 510 years ago, to accept myself for even like,

Jane Stark:

Yes, I'm talking about changes are different. But I mean, I

Jane Stark:

I've gone through phases all my life, right? Where are like, I

Jane Stark:

remember I used to, I mean, I've never been one to wear a ton of

Jane Stark:

makeup, but I used to definitely my 20s and 30s, I would not be

Jane Stark:

going out places do now, like not the way I do now. But the

Jane Stark:

way I you know, like now, I'll go I don't care, like no makeup

Jane Stark:

glasses on, you know, whatever. Like, I don't care, I can go to

Jane Stark:

the grocery store. But like, there's a big,

Jen Lang:

broader social acceptance of that, in general,

Jen Lang:

although, of course, we are also located on the west coast, which

Jen Lang:

is a bit more relaxed, where that's concerned. And now, like

Jen Lang:

I'm speaking through the lens of having lived in Dubai and Abu

Jen Lang:

Dhabi. And also, you know, spending short times living in

Jen Lang:

England and Germany in the 90s. And, you know, actually, even

Jen Lang:

when I moved to Montreal, like fashion focused, right, so the

Jen Lang:

clothing that I used to wear in the West Coast, I would not like

Jen Lang:

did not translate well, in Montreal, absolutely. Even

Jen Lang:

precog. And I joke about like, we had a closet dedicated just

Jen Lang:

to shoes, because it's just, you know, because, you know, the

Jen Lang:

four very distinct seasons there. And obviously, you needed

Jen Lang:

footwear for all four of those seasons. But I had I had a lot

Jen Lang:

of colds, you know, and there's malls and shopping. And, you

Jen Lang:

know, yes, I was working as a singer. So there were definitely

Jen Lang:

I'm gonna say unspoken expectations around how I would

Jen Lang:

show up for auditions and the clothing I would need to offer

Jen Lang:

like for school and those kinds of things.

Jane Stark:

But salutely And I mean, some of it like I don't

Jane Stark:

work in an office anymore. Like when I used to work in an

Jane Stark:

office. Yes, like, but I noticed that even just more down to even

Jane Stark:

like having people over now that we're sort of doing that again.

Jane Stark:

Yeah, I just, I'm not so uptight anymore, about like the house

Jane Stark:

needing to be perfectly clean, or having to be all made up and

Jane Stark:

look a certain way. And so I don't know, I don't know if this

Jane Stark:

is like the bucket 40s or if this is the post COVID or if

Jane Stark:

this is like there's a number of factors. But there's also

Jen Lang:

partly generational. Yeah, or that sense because I

Jen Lang:

don't remember. I don't remember my mom being particularly Fuckit

Jen Lang:

40s In some senses, like, but she's also a product of her

Jen Lang:

generation and British so and British. That's you. Although

Jen Lang:

now I'd say she's more relaxed. But she's still very much is

Jen Lang:

about, you know, having her hair. I'm not to say perfect,

Jen Lang:

but like, look look nice. And wearing a bit of makeup before

Jen Lang:

she leaves the house and yeah,

Jane Stark:

yeah, I mean when I think back to you, right, like

Jane Stark:

as a child and teenager growing up, like, I definitely felt like

Jane Stark:

my mum was much more it was like, you know, at Christmas,

Jane Stark:

you know, Christmas Eve and it was like, you dress up to go for

Jane Stark:

dinner. And like, she's definitely relaxed now. I mean,

Jane Stark:

my mom also lives in a resort mountain town now. So, you know,

Jane Stark:

she's, and she's still like, I can tell sometimes, you know,

Jane Stark:

she'll still dress up the odd time, like, you know, for

Jane Stark:

Christmas Eve when you know, whereas my sisters and I are

Jane Stark:

kind of at the point where, like, it's just our family,

Jane Stark:

like, I'm gonna wear my stretchy pants to eat turkey dinner like,

Jane Stark:

Oh, good. Yeah. My mom still will, you know, but definitely

Jane Stark:

not like when I was a kid where, you know, you're right. Like,

Jane Stark:

when she would have been in her 40s There was still a bit more

Jane Stark:

of a like, no, there's times and places and we social expectation

Jane Stark:

like, dress? I think in general, you're right. Society wise,

Jane Stark:

we've definitely relaxed, which I think is a positive, you know,

Jane Stark:

and even this movement for more acceptance, actually. Yeah. You

Jane Stark:

know, like, with, you're seeing big brands, I mean, wasn't it

Jane Stark:

just recently, it's Sports Illustrated, I think, had a plus

Jane Stark:

size model on the cover. And so we are seeing that movement,

Jane Stark:

which is helping the self acceptance, I think we still

Jane Stark:

have a really long way to go.

Jen Lang:

Definitely. And in terms of that, and seeing, I

Jen Lang:

think that's supporting the self acceptance movement, because

Jen Lang:

also, we're having this conversation as to white

Jen Lang:

cisgendered women, married women. And

Jane Stark:

yeah, that's awful. That's level of self acceptance,

Jen Lang:

or level of self acceptance. And, you know, I

Jen Lang:

want to, like, definitely have a conscious conversation around

Jen Lang:

this, like, we are talking from our perspective as sis white

Jen Lang:

cisgendered married women, very, very privileged community,

Jen Lang:

middle class, privileged, upbringing and communities

Jen Lang:

definitely, like, we had different upbringings, I

Jen Lang:

definitely grew up through through some pretty hardcore

Jen Lang:

poverty when I was a child. But at the same time, it was, I find

Jen Lang:

myself in a great spot now. So the difference for people of

Jen Lang:

color, and for people who don't fit those heteronormative

Jen Lang:

definitions of, of course, it's wonderful to see more public

Jen Lang:

facing images out there, and conversations around that

Jen Lang:

acceptance piece. I still think that it's not unusual for

Jen Lang:

everyone to struggle at some level with self acceptance over

Jen Lang:

what you know, depending on what point in your life you're going

Jen Lang:

through, if you're going through, like an emotional time,

Jen Lang:

like roads, a family breakup, or something like that, even

Jen Lang:

children, children and teenagers God teaching, how do you teach

Jen Lang:

children and teens self acceptance when your peers? I

Jen Lang:

don't

Jane Stark:

know. But when you find out full Can you let me

Jane Stark:

know? Or when I get through it, I'll let you know. Yeah, it's

Jane Stark:

it's yeah, it's a it's, it's a tough one to watch and to

Jane Stark:

navigate. But I think it all comes I think, as you're

Jane Stark:

talking, so much of it comes down to it's this battle, even

Jane Stark:

back to this self compassion topic that we talked about a

Jane Stark:

couple of weeks ago, because I want to say it comes down to

Jane Stark:

self esteem. But self esteem is a tricky one. I don't know that

Jane Stark:

I really, I'm not fully on board with the whole self esteem

Jane Stark:

movement. In that, I think it creates some unhealthy

Jane Stark:

narcissistic traits. But self compassion, and learning to

Jane Stark:

have, and confidence, healthy confidence, I think is a key and

Jane Stark:

that for me, if I look at, again, my journey and how what

Jane Stark:

I'm sharing has, has kind of come together is that as I've

Jane Stark:

built my confidence on who I am as a person and really stepped

Jane Stark:

into more and more owning myself, yep. That's where the

Jane Stark:

like, give less fucks is coming from. So.

Jen Lang:

So you're seeing a direct correlation before

Jen Lang:

yourself between self acceptance and self confidence? Yes,

Jane Stark:

the higher my confidence goes, the higher my

Jane Stark:

self acceptance goes. And I think even you know, bring it

Jane Stark:

back to a little bit to the teens. I have, you know, one who

Jane Stark:

will be 13 in a couple of weeks. And another preteen and that is

Jane Stark:

always been, that's always been one of my things is parenting is

Jane Stark:

if I can raise confident girls. Yeah, that to me is the key for

Jane Stark:

them. to go out into the world and be whoever they want to be,

Jane Stark:

however they want to show up. You know, I Yeah. And so, you

Jane Stark:

know, and that's hard. I think with I've been saying a lot.

Jane Stark:

It's hard today it sounds like, it feels hard. I don't know.

Jen Lang:

It's challenging,

Jane Stark:

challenging, right? Because like you say, you are

Jane Stark:

working with so many different factors. But yeah, I think for

Jane Stark:

me, that is. That's exactly it. The correlation between

Jane Stark:

confidence. And I would sense yeah, and I would say, when I

Jane Stark:

look back at myself as a teen, and especially in my 20s. Yeah,

Jane Stark:

like, compared to where I am now, and all of the work I've

Jane Stark:

done, and all of the deep like self excavation, yeah, it's,

Jane Stark:

it's been a complete shift. And I do wonder if that's where

Jane Stark:

again, almost like, the elder needs to match the inner more,

Jane Stark:

we're like shedding this, like, needing to have this certain

Jane Stark:

image of how I look. Like doesn't matter.

Jen Lang:

I think that's super juicy. In the sense that, and

Jen Lang:

even if, if it makes you feel good to do your hair and put

Jen Lang:

makeup on every day, then do it. Like, yeah, absolutely. This is

Jen Lang:

the other like the other. I'm gonna say another angle to the

Jen Lang:

conversation is, is that this, you know, if it makes you feel

Jen Lang:

good to dye your hair until you're 97? Like fucking do it,

Jen Lang:

dye your hair until you're 97? I know people who did that. Yeah.

Jen Lang:

And more power to you. Why, how

Jane Stark:

are you? That's that level of success? Exactly.

Jane Stark:

Right. There's zero judgment. Yeah. And all of what we're

Jane Stark:

sharing, it's not about judging.

Jen Lang:

No. And the, I think when we let go of the judgment

Jen Lang:

narrative in ourselves, then we can find, obviously find it

Jen Lang:

easier to accept oneself and increase that self confidence

Jen Lang:

piece, but I think they all go hand in hand. And also, another

Jen Lang:

factor, I think, see is surrendering to what is. So, you

Jen Lang:

know, again, I think it ties into some of those things we

Jen Lang:

talked about, like what's in the scope of your control? Well, I

Jen Lang:

can manage my appearance. You know, and I, yeah, I could have

Jen Lang:

got up this morning, not had a shower and still run this online

Jen Lang:

workshop, and my hair would have been fine. But I knew I wanted

Jen Lang:

to feel better and fresher and have fresh, like, feel fresher

Jen Lang:

and cleaner and have my hair. I'm gonna sit down or style, but

Jen Lang:

it was like, you know, it's guaranteed and not bedhead. So

Jen Lang:

it's more about that's what helped me feel good for the

Jen Lang:

activity that I was taking undertaking this morning. Other

Jen Lang:

times, I'm like, tie the hair back and go. Yeah,

Jane Stark:

no, totally. I mean, I love like, I still, you know,

Jane Stark:

enjoy dressing up. And that was part of the reason for me to go

Jane Stark:

and buy some new clothes. To be honest, it was like, I need

Jane Stark:

there's definitely something to be said for. You know, we hear a

Jane Stark:

lot i i haven't I don't hear it so much anymore. But I remember

Jane Stark:

there was a period where it was like, oh, you know, it's

Jane Stark:

important to get up and get dressed every day, even when

Jane Stark:

you're working from home. Like get up and put those jeans on or

Jane Stark:

get up and put your makeup on. And I don't fully subscribe to

Jane Stark:

that. Like, I don't, I don't enjoy sitting around in

Jane Stark:

uncomfortable jeans all day in my home office. And but now I've

Jane Stark:

kind of found this balance where some days. Yeah, it's like no

Jane Stark:

makeup. And just like my Lulu is. And I'm comfy. And other

Jane Stark:

days, it's like, actually, it feels really good to put on some

Jane Stark:

jeans and a nice sweater and put my makeup on and just feel good

Jane Stark:

in our in my body. And so to be able to get to that place,

Jane Stark:

though of being able to do both. And I think the other key is the

Jane Stark:

intention. And the what it gives you. So for me, it's now coming

Jane Stark:

from a place of pleasure. If we come back to what you're saying.

Jane Stark:

It feels good. I enjoy it. I want to do it. It doesn't come

Jane Stark:

from a place of insecurity or like, oh, I can't let you know.

Jane Stark:

I can't go out without makeup on.

Jen Lang:

Yeah, no, no, I totally don't feel that way.

Jen Lang:

Yes. And I love that you tie this back to pleasure, because

Jen Lang:

at the end of the day, pleasure is a feeling worth honoring,

Jen Lang:

especially in your day to day interactions. And so perfect

Jen Lang:

example this morning, I was teaching an online workshop for

Jen Lang:

a government agency and I knew I wanted to wear a dress, but I

Jen Lang:

got out three possibilities. And I looked at the three dresses on

Jen Lang:

my bed and I was like okay, what's going to feel Hey, body,

Jen Lang:

Hey, Jen, what's going to feel really good to wear and still be

Jen Lang:

comfortable for teaching this workshop and teaching this work

Jen Lang:

because yes, it will be seated but there'll be some, you know,

Jen Lang:

like movements standing and stretching. And so I yeah, I

Jen Lang:

chose this blue dress and I love it and it's comfy. I've had it a

Jen Lang:

long time but I can dress it up and you know well The boys that

Jen Lang:

making that choice felt pleasurable. And the stress, you

Jen Lang:

know, fits me and my body no matter where I'm at. So I think

Jen Lang:

it's finding this balance of pleasure, self acceptance, self

Jen Lang:

confidence and acceptance around where you at where you're at in

Jen Lang:

your life, and what activity you're undertaking that day.

Jane Stark:

Yeah, absolutely. So if we go if we kind of wrap this

Jane Stark:

up with the self acceptance piece, and somebody that's

Jane Stark:

wanting to step into more self acceptance or get to that place,

Jane Stark:

how do we, how do we start on that journey? Oh, I

Jen Lang:

think it really depends how honestly, I would

Jen Lang:

start really small. This is from from purse from speaking as

Jen Lang:

someone who had very low self confidence for much of her teen

Jen Lang:

and I'd say young adult life, very low confidence, I would

Jen Lang:

start with something small, like what do you what's something

Jen Lang:

small that you love about your body? First of all, and in for

Jen Lang:

me, like something simple, I'm like, I've always loved my ears.

Jen Lang:

I don't know why. They just have a pleasing shape. They are

Jen Lang:

pretty. And so I started there. And then that self acceptance

Jen Lang:

piece, that was sort of the finding the love for myself and

Jen Lang:

my body and where I'm at, and I knew I knew I would, quote

Jen Lang:

unquote, never be a skinny kid, because I was never that kid.

Jen Lang:

And at the same time, I love my curves now. And yeah, sometimes

Jen Lang:

self acceptance takes, I'm gonna say conscious, intentional

Jen Lang:

practice, in the sense that, Okay, I accept that this is

Jen Lang:

where my body is today. And I also choose, I know that I have

Jen Lang:

the power to change that, that I felt I really cared about these

Jen Lang:

five extra kilos that I'm carrying around right now or

Jen Lang:

whatever it is that I want to shift or change. Yeah, I can

Jen Lang:

totally make some lifestyle, quote, unquote, exercise changes

Jen Lang:

to make that happen. But because my word is pleasure this year,

Jen Lang:

what's, what feels more pleasurable? If it brings me

Jen Lang:

pleasure to exercise to feel like I fit my clothing better

Jen Lang:

than I will follow that. So I think to answer your question,

Jen Lang:

for our listeners, where do you start with that self acceptance?

Jen Lang:

Follow the feeling of what feels good first. And see how it

Jen Lang:

applies to your specific circumstances?

Jane Stark:

Mm hmm. I like that. I've also, well, for me, it's

Jane Stark:

been a lot of questioning, like getting curious. So, you know,

Jane Stark:

if I'm like, oh, like, I don't, I don't like this role that

Jane Stark:

showed up. Or, like, I'm like, oh, so what? Why? Like, what

Jane Stark:

does that what am I making that mean about myself? Great

Jane Stark:

question. And so starting to unpack that now, I've got a lot

Jane Stark:

of the tools to do that self reflective work. But I think,

Jane Stark:

you know, I look and go, Why do we? Why do we judge ourselves so

Jane Stark:

harshly? And because we're where am I looking for outside

Jane Stark:

acceptance? It's actually because I'm looking to be

Jane Stark:

accepted by the external. And so what am I seeking in that? Like,

Jane Stark:

it's always kind of into this like, like, the void a little

Jane Stark:

bit, right, where we're seeking, we're seeking something outside

Jane Stark:

of us. And so what are we trying to fill?

Jen Lang:

Receive? Okay, seeking that external affirmation or

Jen Lang:

external validation, when in actual fact, we need to be

Jen Lang:

finding it. And that validation internally first, yeah. Yeah,

Jen Lang:

sort of like waiting questions. Let's put those in our show

Jen Lang:

notes. Yeah, so people, and obviously, if you don't have the

Jen Lang:

tools, and you want to look more deeply like

Jane Stark:

this is what coaching is a perfect container

Jane Stark:

for this right to start looking at this, because and oftentimes,

Jane Stark:

it's not really about the extra five pounds or the role or the

Jane Stark:

thing like, it's, it's about what's deeper, what's underneath

Jane Stark:

that it's about the emotions that are stored. It's about you

Jane Stark:

know, and really sitting in I remember one of our mentor that

Jane Stark:

both you and I work with, she has a program called flow body.

Jane Stark:

And one of the things that she talks about is like, really feel

Jane Stark:

into your body. And your body has sort of a I can't remember

Jane Stark:

like a setpoint. Right, and everybody's body is different.

Jane Stark:

And so one of the things that's been really interesting,

Jane Stark:

actually, I've noticed, as I've sort of stepping into this sort

Jane Stark:

of new body A lot of people, I've had a couple of people that

Jane Stark:

I haven't seen in quite a while that, you know, have said like,

Jane Stark:

Wow, you look really good, you're glowing? And, you know,

Jane Stark:

I'm like, oh, okay, thank you, you know, but I'm, like,

Jane Stark:

interesting. Like, just, I've had little comments like that,

Jane Stark:

where it's like, in some, and I've even had one conversation

Jane Stark:

with somebody who I know well enough to have this conversation

Jane Stark:

with blood, like, yeah, you know, I've done I'm really

Jane Stark:

trying to, like, step into this new body and accept it and

Jane Stark:

whatnot. And they're, like, you know, like, wow, you're wearing

Jane Stark:

it really well, like I can, you know, like, and even said, like,

Jane Stark:

Yes, I can see that you have, you know, your that you have put

Jane Stark:

on weight, but it looks really good on you. And it's just

Jane Stark:

interesting kind of perspective. And so, you know, that it's made

Jane Stark:

me question that too, and be like, perhaps this is where my

Jane Stark:

body actually needs to be.

Jen Lang:

Exactly. I think that's what I'm feeling about

Jen Lang:

this year with the pleasure piece. With like, this is where

Jen Lang:

my body needs to be right now.

Jane Stark:

Yeah. And five years ago, yeah, you know, my body was

Jane Stark:

at a different place. It needed to be so really like, and this

Jane Stark:

is very deep, it takes it definitely takes. This isn't

Jane Stark:

just a sit and ask your body thing, I don't think because

Jane Stark:

it's too easy for our egos to overtake. But really sitting

Jane Stark:

with, okay, if this is truly like the the healthy setpoint

Jane Stark:

for my body, how can I love and embrace that. Versus, we, you

Jane Stark:

know, we're so inundated with societal conditioning and

Jane Stark:

messaging that we need to be skinnier, we need to be fitter,

Jane Stark:

or we need to have the six pack or the, you know, the, the arms

Jane Stark:

like that are super strong and true

Jen Lang:

for men and women these days. Absolutely. Very

Jen Lang:

different ways. But they it shows up in different ways. But

Jen Lang:

it's, I still feel like men get a bit more of a pass than women

Jen Lang:

do. But the same images are presented and like I'd say,

Jen Lang:

especially rampant in, in for gay men and for for non non

Jen Lang:

cisgendered. Absolutely, yeah. Men. So so

Jane Stark:

really sitting in that and looking at what do you

Jane Stark:

have going on in your life? What do you have? Like, I've had a

Jane Stark:

lot of a lot of things going on in my life, too. So also looking

Jane Stark:

at that and going okay, so based on everything that I'm dealing

Jane Stark:

with right now? Am I really in a you know, Am I really in a bad

Jane Stark:

position? Not necessarily. And I think that's, that feels like a

Jane Stark:

piece of self acceptance, and that I'm sharing this, and I can

Jane Stark:

speak about it. And it still feels a bit achy, like I'll be

Jane Stark:

honest, when I even when I share it, there is still a part of me

Jane Stark:

that's like, like, but I just want to be that 10 pounds

Jane Stark:

lighter, like that little bit trimmer. But that's again, my

Jane Stark:

conditioning, and I'm aware of it.

Jen Lang:

So I have a friend who recently not my say to recently,

Jen Lang:

but earlier this year told me that they wanted to lose 20

Jen Lang:

pounds, and they're already a petite frame. However, I sort of

Jen Lang:

questioned them on I was like, Well, why why do you feel that?

Jen Lang:

Well, they they said, oh, I'll just feel better. I just feel

Jen Lang:

better. And so they're increasing their exercise and

Jen Lang:

activity level. And, you know, they're like, Oh, I've already

Jen Lang:

lost 10 pounds. I feel great. I just feel better when I'm this

Jen Lang:

weight. I'm like, okay, great self knowledge. But it's also

Jen Lang:

getting, are you? Are you doing that? Because of the number are

Jen Lang:

you doing that? Because of what this is how you used to look and

Jen Lang:

you're trying to go for this unattainable ideal of what you

Jen Lang:

were who you were 20 years ago, or like this is the other level

Jen Lang:

of self acceptance that this is the shadow aspect of self

Jen Lang:

acceptance, where you think you're doing it for one reason.

Jen Lang:

But the actual underlying messaging might be where the

Jen Lang:

underlying reasons might be something that you're not

Jen Lang:

willing to look at. Yes. So that's another facet. I was

Jen Lang:

going to ask one more sort of question that I can ask this of

Jen Lang:

you, but this is also for our listeners is like, what would it

Jen Lang:

take for you to accept yourself exactly where you are today, in

Jen Lang:

this moment? where you're at?

Jane Stark:

That's funny, and like a wash of calm comes over

Jane Stark:

me when you say that? Yeah. I think it's taking a hard look

Jane Stark:

like I sort of said about at, you know, when I've had to look

Jane Stark:

at like, okay, my body is shifting and changing. But I'm

Jane Stark:

doing the things like, I feel fairly good in my body. It's my

Jane Stark:

judgments of myself that don't feel good. So it's a different

Jane Stark:

energy than I'm in a rut. I'm drinking too much. I'm eating

Jane Stark:

like junk food and sugar all the time and pulling out the chips

Jane Stark:

which I have been there. And that's a very different feeling

Jane Stark:

to Okay. Like, yeah, I'm stepping into this new version.

Jane Stark:

But I'm, you know, I'm getting my sleep, I'm managing my

Jane Stark:

stress, I'm getting outside in nature. I'm getting like, I'm

Jane Stark:

sweating, you know, getting a sweat on I'm eating fairly

Jane Stark:

balanced. Like, there was a period in my life to where and

Jane Stark:

now I was doing this partly because of health, I had some

Jane Stark:

health during my like my more acute health challenges. But I

Jane Stark:

had to go I went really swung really far to the other side

Jane Stark:

where like, no processed sugar, no processed food, basically,

Jane Stark:

super clean eating no alcohol. And yeah, I dropped probably 20

Jane Stark:

pounds. And I was at my thinnest, I think one of my

Jane Stark:

thinnest had ever been, and I felt really good, because I was

Jane Stark:

really clean. But I was also living in a very rigid state.

Jane Stark:

Yes. And that is the other flip side of this too, right? So this

Jane Stark:

is this, like, kind of like what you were saying comes back to

Jane Stark:

the pleasure, like, do I want to live that rigidly so that I can,

Jane Stark:

like, have this body that, I think is what I need to somehow

Jane Stark:

my value gets tied into that. versus, like, having a more

Jane Stark:

balanced? Like, you know, like I say, for the most part, I eat

Jane Stark:

fairly well, but I've definitely loosened up where I'm probably

Jane Stark:

I'm probably now even more like 7030, you know, not necessarily

Jane Stark:

the 8020 rule. I'm probably more on the 7030 rule now where I'm

Jane Stark:

like, Okay, I'm going to have some of those chips, and okay,

Jane Stark:

I'm gonna like, go and grab that sweet or whatever. But like you

Jane Stark:

say, if that's what feels good and balanced? What's wrong with

Jen Lang:

that? Yeah. It's like any guess, obviously, we're in a

Jen Lang:

place of privilege where we can be making those choices and be

Jen Lang:

making those decisions. Although I do admit that I am adjusting

Jen Lang:

some of my say, I'm making more conscious food purchase

Jen Lang:

decisions. It's like, actually, I'm not going to buy the potato

Jen Lang:

chips. I'm gonna buy the apple chips instead. Right? Because

Jen Lang:

they're gonna have the same crunch. And they'll have they

Jen Lang:

have that obviously, better dietary. So making like more

Jen Lang:

bang for your buck, I'm gonna say. And that is a level of

Jane Stark:

revenue tuitions put into tremely from a privileged

Jane Stark:

place. Typically, that costs more money. Yes. So yes, there's

Jane Stark:

absolutely angles,

Jen Lang:

there's so many angles to look at it. Anyway, this has

Jen Lang:

been our part as a part one probably. Acceptance unpacking

Jen Lang:

self acceptance. Yeah, we will have already talked about it on

Jen Lang:

the community call by the time this episode goes live, but I'm,

Jen Lang:

I imagine we're going to be having more conversations around

Jen Lang:

it. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Jane Stark:

Yeah. And I was gonna say, because I think this

Jane Stark:

is a big piece of the work we do. We don't necessarily go out

Jane Stark:

and talk about our work in and self acceptance as a as, like,

Jane Stark:

one of the things but, you know, as we're talking about this

Jane Stark:

conversation, and thinking about our clients, and the work we do,

Jane Stark:

and when we were sort of talking about starting to unpack this,

Jane Stark:

it's absolutely at the core of the coaching work we do. And so

Jane Stark:

if you are looking for support, you know, if you're feeling if

Jane Stark:

you're having trouble in some of these areas, because the other

Jane Stark:

thing is it affects every area of our life, like definitely

Jane Stark:

affects so many different things. You know, reach out, you

Jane Stark:

know, chat with us. And, well, I

Jen Lang:

think this is actually great, definitely reach out and

Jen Lang:

contact us. And we also have, if you're curious and you have

Jen Lang:

something specific you'd like like, like the self acceptance

Jen Lang:

piece, we have a three to one count down offer, which has

Jen Lang:

three sessions two of us, and one transformation over a one

Jen Lang:

month period. And that is $777. But you get us two to one for

Jen Lang:

360 minute sessions. And it is a really powerful place to start

Jen Lang:

to unpack some of this. Yeah. So this sounds interesting to you

Jen Lang:

definitely reach out. I hope you've enjoyed our conversation

Jen Lang:

around the power is or the trials and tribulations of self

Jen Lang:

acceptance. I don't know. We don't know what we're going to

Jen Lang:

call this journey. I don't know it's a journey to get there, but

Jen Lang:

it's ongoing.

Jane Stark:

Definitely the fuck 40s

Jen Lang:

When the fuck 40s and fewer IN THE FUCK 40s 50s or

Jen Lang:

beyond? Yeah, find out more. And

Jane Stark:

if you're not if you're not there yet. This is

Jane Stark:

what you have to look forward to.

Jen Lang:

Good times. Okay. Okay. Have a great day,

Jen Lang:

everybody. Great to see you. Great to be in your ears. Talk

Jen Lang:

to you soon. Bye. Bye. Thanks for joining us for these

Jen Lang:

conscious combos. If you're ready to dive deeper head on

Jen Lang:

over to lead gen nj.com to continue the conversation.

Jane Stark:

If you'd love this episode, please take a moment to

Jane Stark:

share it with your friends or your network and leave us a

Jane Stark:

review by going to Apple podcasts. Find us on Instagram

Jane Stark:

at we are Jen and Jane and let us know what you enjoy and what

Jane Stark:

you would like to see more of. We'd love to hear from you.

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About the Podcast

No Halos Here
Conscious Convos for an Elevated World
Are you looking for more than a ‘surface’ conversation about topics like spirituality, the self-help industry, or health & wellbeing? Maybe you’re curious about exploring some of your own gifts or health challenges and want to know if others have experienced what you have. What about the intersection of entrepreneurship, family life, and self-care?

Join Jen Lang and Jane Stark, two heart-centred business owners, as they explore the shadowed edges of life, the universe, and beyond through honest and thought-provoking conversations. No topic is off-limits and is approached with an open heart and mind, active listening, and compelling guests. We may not have all the answers, but we know that the way forward is through these vulnerable conversations.

Listen in as we unite physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energies into a powerful show to lead, heal, and inspire you.

About your host

Profile picture for Jen Lang

Jen Lang

Jane Stark - Passionate about energetic alignment and living life from a place of personal power, Jane is a heart-centred leader, certified health and life coach, and marketing strategist. She leads others to play bigger and feel lighter by helping them see and navigate their blocks and connect more deeply with themselves.

Jen Lang - Jen believes in the power and wisdom of women’s voices. She’s a guide for women who want to tune into and align their inner voice so their outer voice can shine; uniting physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energies into a powerful voice ready to share your message.